Distance
by JuniperHeart
Summary: A Sora/Riku short story. Riku's been away for a year after finishing high school, and upon his return for the summer, Sora is forced to acknowledge that his fate and feelings are not all he thought they would be. M-rated for adult themes in later chapters.
1. Prologue

**Distance**

A Sora/Riku short story. Riku's been away for a year after finishing high school, and upon his return for the summer, Sora must own up to his feelings that have been hidden for a long time.

Warnings – This is R-rated, hence there will be guy/guy lovin', angsty themes etc. I will make an NC-17 version available after the story is completed, but will make it available to you by other legal means, i.e. .

Setting – Set three years after KH2, but without content from dream drop distance, 358/2 days, coded and birth by sleep. Sora is 18, Riku 19 and Kairi 18.

**Prologue**

Sora felt slightly empty and sad as Riku sported his usual cocky grin and patted Sora on the shoulder.

"Don't worry Sora, I'll be kicking your ass again before you know it." Riku chuckled, obviously referencing the many times he had beaten Sora sword fighting. It was something they had not really stopped enjoying, even though they were now in their late teens.

Sora swallowed his despondency and forced a playful smile. "I'm not worried! Next time I see you, you will be crying with defeat!"

Riku responded with a sceptical look and nodded towards Kairi. "Look after him, alright? He's still a baby."

Kairi giggled and punched Riku in the arm. "Of course. What would he do without me?"

Riku smirked, "yeah, exactly. Hey Sora, come over here for a sec would ya?"

Before Sora could react Riku dragged him away from Kairi and Riku's family and started to whisper in his ear.

"_Hurry up and ask her out, for goodness sake._"

"Wh…what?" Sora spluttered, a blush creeping over his cheeks.

"_It's so obvious you like her, and have liked her for ages, since we were kids._" Riku whispered and patted Sora on the shoulder again.

Sora couldn't respond. He had always liked Kairi. She was pretty, quite smart and he knew she would be very loving. However, he knew that he would never gather the courage to ask her out.

As the two walked back to the group, Sora still couldn't say anything. He wanted desperately to express to Riku how much he would miss him but the words just would not come out.

"What was that about?" Kairi asked with narrowed eyes as they returned.

Riku mussed up Sora's spiky brown hair. "Oh, just boy talk."

Sora was still blushing and speechless.

The intercom at the airport announced that Riku's flight was boarding and it felt to Sora like a nail had just been hammered into his own coffin.

"Well, that's me then." Riku gathered up his bags and hugged his family and Kairi goodbye. When it came to Sora, Sora felt especially nervous. He really did not want his best friend to leave him, as selfish as it sounded.

Riku's arms enclosed around Sora and Sora instantly returned the favour.

"Don't worry Sora, I'll miss you too." Riku said into his ear. "It's only a year, so I'll be back soon."

Sora could not help but let tears fall down his cheeks. Riku pulled away from him and wiped the tears on Sora's cheeks away with his thumb. "Cheer up, crybaby."

A typical pout formed on Sora's mouth and he giggled, half sad and half happy. Riku always knew how to lighten the mood.

"Get out of here." Sora muttered and pushed Riku away playfully.

As the plane lifted up off the runway, Sora felt a hand circle around his. Kairi stood smiling beside him.


	2. Chapter One

A Sora/Riku short story. Riku's been away for a year after finishing high school, and upon his return for the summer, Sora must own up to his feelings that have been hidden for a long time.

Warnings – This is R-rated, hence there is guy/guy lovin', angsty themes etc. I will make an NC-17 version available after the story is completed, but will make it available to you by other means i.e. an adult fan fiction site.

Setting – Set three years after KH2, but without content from dream drop distance, 358/2 days, coded and birth by sleep. Sora is 18, Riku 19 and Kairi 18.

**Chapter 1**

He was completely and utterly late. Why was he always late to everything? He had made a promise to Kairi and yet he was still late. He hadn't even had time to look good so naturally his hair was a mess and he hadn't changed into something nice to wear. As he arrived at the restaurant by the beach Kairi was standing out the front with a scowl on her face, and rightly so. She was getting increasingly frustrated at his tardiness.

Kairi was the one who had made the first move as soon as Riku left for university, like she had overheard their conversation in the airport terminal, but Sora was finding that being friends with Kairi and being her boyfriend were two completely different things. Since they had started dating she had more expectations of him, and it wasn't as if he minded, he just didn't expect things to be so… different. Girls were high maintenance and not very forgiving, or maybe that was just Kairi.

He was actually busy thinking about Riku coming back tomorrow, and planning what they could do together. Sora had missed Riku more than he'd missed anyone before. He already knew what that felt like; after looking for Riku so intensely before. It felt like a part of him had gone missing, even though he knew where Riku was now. Feeling that way again was hard, but at least he could contact Riku every now and then. Not that he had, mind you. Riku's university life was quite busy, and it seemed as though he was making the most of the student freedom over there.

Before he could think more on Riku and his mounting excitement over his return, he exited his car and went to greet Kairi.

"Took you long enough." Kairi muttered sardonically but then sighed exasperatedly.

Sora laughed, embarrassed. "I'm really sorry, Kairi. You know me; time just evades me a lot."

Kairi's scornful pout softened into a forgiving smile. "You sound like a broken record." Kairi embraced Sora and kissed him softly on the lips. "C'mon, let's go get something to eat."

Sora's usual blush was firmly planted on his face, but he was like that every time he was embarrassed. "Okay." He grabbed her hand bravely and led her into the restaurant.

Once seated at the restaurant they looked over the menu and continued their small talk. Sora was expecting Kairi to pipe up about Riku coming back, considering they were both his friend and should both be excited about it, but she was rather quiet about it. She instead chose to talk about what colour her graduation gown should be, and about Sora buying a matching tie. He honoured her suggestions with a smile, but in all honesty to himself, had no interest in it whatsoever. Riku would have just laughed if he overheard this conversation and called them both saps. Sora's grin widened as he realised it wouldn't be long until Riku came back…

"Sora?!" Kairi snapped and broke him out of his reverie.

Another embarrassing moment and another opportunity for Kairi to go completely crazy at him. "Sorry… was just thinking about Riku coming back tomorrow. Are you excited?"

This seemed to only flare Kairi's anger. Sora didn't understand, shouldn't she be excited? Kairi huffed loudly. "How dare you think about _him_ when you're on a date with me? You should be thinking only of me! Especially when I'm talking to you!"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Sora frowned and threw his hands up; aware they were both making a spectacle of themselves. "I thought you would just be as excited as me, he's your friend too."

Kairi only seemed more incensed by that statement and stood up abruptly, walking outside out to the beach.

Sora had no option but to follow her outside. At least the curiosity of the onlookers in the restaurant would not be satisfied. Kairi was standing in the sand, her auburn hair swaying in the warm summer breeze.

Sora gulped and gathered up his courage. He was really in for it now, but he had no idea what for.

"What's going on? I know something's up!" Sora called out to her, scared and waiting for another outburst.

Kairi swung around, accusation clear in her eyes and clenched her hands tightly. "With you, it's always 'Riku this' and 'Riku that'. You're _always_ thinking about him, even when you should be thinking about me."

"Hey, that's not always true!" Sora walked up to her, not sure if it was okay to comfort her or not. "I'm dating you aren't I? I care about you. However, you can't expect to have full control over who I think about. Riku's my best friend. I care about him too."

Kairi laughed unexpectedly, almost spitefully. "You don't care about me as much as him. You were obsessed with finding him, and once you had found him, you continued to be obsessed with him." She brushed her hair out of her face and smiled knowingly. "You don't really love me. Otherwise our relationship would be more…natural."

Confusion overwhelmed Sora. He didn't love Kairi, yes, but he cared about her deeply. Her outbursts were slowly overtaking that, though. "What the hell do you mean? There's nothing wrong with our relationship!"

Kairi walked up to Sora slowly and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Kiss me, Sora."

Now Sora was really confused. "Okay…?" He bit the bullet, encircled her waist with his arms and placed his lips on Kairi's, trying desperately to please her. After kissing her tenderly for a little while, she broke away from him.

"Did you feel anything Sora?" Kairi peered into his eyes lifelessly, almost sadly.

"What do you mean, did I feel anything?" Sora spoke softly, like he knew ultimately how this conversation would turn out.

Kairi walked away from Sora and faced the ocean. "A spark, a tingle, love, lust, anything?"

Sora felt himself fall and sit heavily on the sand, looking over at Kairi's back. He had to be honest. He felt nothing. "No."

"Thought so." Kairi was quiet and barely audible over the sound of the waves crashing ashore. "That would make sense, considering."

"Considering what?" Sora asked.

Kairi laughed and turned around to face Sora. "I suppose you'll find out in due time. Now, I'm sure the waiting staff will be wondering where we are."

Kairi held out her hand to pull Sora up. Sora hesitated, but took her hand and pulled himself upright. "Yeah, I'm starving."

"Some things never change". Kairi laughed, like the burden their relationship had placed on them had been lifted.

Sora definitely noticed straight away that things had reverted back to the way they were before they had started going out. "So… it's over then?"

In all honestly, he didn't feel sad. All the unease he felt with Kairi since the beginning had lifted.

"Yeah." Kairi smiled and ruffled Sora's messy hair. "But that's okay. I'll just have to find a new hero."

Sora chuckled and sat with Kairi at the table inside, pleased with the way things had turned out. It really was as though their idea of what was meant to happen did not match up with reality, and they'd only come to terms with it now. It had been set in stone a long time ago that they were meant to be together, however it really didn't work out.

* * *

After dinner and saying farewell to his now friend, Sora ventured out onto the beach to clear his mind.

_What did she mean by 'that would make sense, considering'?_ _Does she know something about me that I don't?_

Sora racked his brain to figure it out, but to no avail. Why did their kiss not meaning anything make sense?

Wait a second. The obsession with Riku. Their kiss not meaning anything. She was jealous.

Then it all made sense. She thought he was gay and liked Riku.

_Oh crap._

But he didn't, not like that; he wasn't gay. At least he didn't think he was. He'd never really had romantic feelings for other guys, let alone Riku. He did care for him, though, and had missed him like he'd lost a part of himself.

Sora lay back in the sand and looked at the stars, missing the adventure and the many worlds he, Riku and Kairi had visited. He was suddenly very, very nervous about seeing Riku tomorrow. Would Kairi tell Riku what she thought? What if things got weird?

Ugh, what a mess everything was, especially his mind. The destiny and fate he had always predicted for himself was a complete and utter lie.

If he wasn't gay, then why wasn't he attracted to Kairi? She was perfect, yet, he wasn't content with her. Sora nearly pulled his hair out in frustration, putting it down to something being wrong with him. Maybe he just hadn't found the right one for himself yet? His mother had always told him that it sometimes surprised you, the one that was right for you, but he had always thought that that right person was Kairi. And now that was out of the question, what was he going to do?

Sora lifted himself off the sand and grabbed his jacket, swinging it over his shoulder. He had an odd feeling in his stomach, like he was slightly nauseous, but in a good way. Riku was coming back tomorrow and he could not wait.


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

Sora expected sleeping on it to rid himself of the weird feeling and nervousness but it was much worse. Riku was touching down at 11 am, and even though it was only 8 am, Sora was fussing about what to wear, how to do his hair and trying to think of things to say to his best friend that had been away for so long.

Why should he even be fretting so much? Riku was his best friend. He didn't care what he wore, he didn't care what he looked like and he didn't care what he said. No work had to go into their friendship, and that was what was so great about it.

Still, what Kairi had said lingered with him. He wasn't obsessed. Sure, he missed Riku a lot, but it wasn't as if he was _in love_ with the guy. It did bug him that he felt differently about Riku than he had ever felt for Kairi, but he put it down to the fact they had completely different personalities, and different genders.

Why then was he still fussing? In the end Sora chose to let his hair go crazy as it always did, and opted for a simple outfit of a black wife beater and straight cut black jeans. It was particularly hot today, so he wondered if shorts were the better choice. Upon looking in the mirror he noticed very little change from back when he was 14, when his whole world had changed. Kairi mentioned to him that he had matured physically, but he still felt small and inferior. Riku had filled out naturally through the years, something Sora was particularly envious about.

When Sora brushed his hand through his hair, he realised it was shaking. He had to get a hold of himself. It wasn't a big deal. Then again, when they had found Riku after him being missing for so long he was much more excited than this. He wasn't exactly bummed that Riku barely got in touch with him over the year, but he definitely had noticed the difference. No one to spar with, no one to visit the island with considering Kairi was too busy with Selphie most of the time, and no one to really banter with like they did. Tidus and Wakka were fun, but they didn't have that edgy, competitive streak that Riku did.

Ah well, today they were going to make up for lost time.

* * *

Sora was stunned, and by the look on Kairi's face, she was just as stunned too. The boy they had seen off about 10 months ago had returned a man. Even though Riku had not changed height-wise, he had a demeanour about him that screamed 'mature'. His long silver hair was tied up, he was wearing clothes that seemed far too formal for destiny islands and he seemed incredibly self-assured.

Sora was so stunned that he didn't realise that Riku was hugging him tightly until he spoke to him.

"Ah, Sora, did you miss me?"

Sora chuckled and hugged him back firmly, not entirely aware that his heart was hammering in his chest.

"Especially because you were too busy to talk to me!" Sora poked Riku in the side and felt a certain kind of delight when Riku winced. He had always been ticklish.

Riku only clung on tighter. "You know how busy uni can get. Besides, doesn't absence make the heart grow fonder?" He teased with a charming grin on his face.

Sora only blushed in response, his heart still not at rest.As they disconnected from each other Sora peeked over at Kairi, expecting her to be livid, but she wasn't. Instead she had a rather peaceful look on her face.

"Welcome back Riku!" The redhead gleamed and was met with a hug from Riku.

"I hope you looked after him." Riku muttered as they embraced.

A cough came from Kairi; she was obviously feeling awkward, considering recent events. "He was looked after."

Riku shot a querying look towards Sora, to which the brunette replied with a shrug. He would tell him later. He hadn't really mentioned to Riku that they had been dating, but he assumed Riku would have figured it out for himself.

"So, what's the plan?" Riku asked Sora and Kairi after he had greeted his family. "I'm going to hang out with the family today but we could all do something tonight? I'm thinkin' drinkin'" He smirked and ruffled Sora's hair.

Sora just grinned, happy that Riku was still the same person, even though so much had changed about him. He supposed that's what uni did to people. But he was thinking about drinking? Sora could honestly say that he had never been drunk before. He was only barely legal, but had not really had the opportunity to go crazy on the stuff.

Riku took Sora's lack of reply as agreement, regardless.

"What do you say, Kairi? We could hang out at the island, just like old times."

Kairi looked at the two friends and seemed to be thinking rather intensely about something. "You two have fun. Selphie's invited me over for a movie night, and you know how she gets when she doesn't get her way!"

Sora _knew_ that was an excuse, but didn't know if Riku had taken the bait or not. He would have known if she and Selphie had made plans, especially for the night Riku came back. But why would she not want to hang out with Riku? Sora really didn't get her sometimes.

"Haha, yeah, she can get pretty feisty." Riku grinned in his usual cocky manner. "That's all good, Kairi. I've got most of the summer to hang out with you."

Kairi nodded and didn't say anything after that. Neither did Sora; he was too dumbfounded by Kairi's avoidance and the fact that Riku had changed. Even though the change was slight, it was still noticeable. Riku was the most confident person Sora knew, yet he had managed to surpass that. It was like there had been an underlying insecurity within him before he left and yet now it had vanished.

"Sora!" Riku called out as he walked off with his family. "I'll pick you up around 7 and we can row out to the island before it gets dark. Expect to camp out!"

Sora's heart hammered in his chest. But why?

The group split up and went their separate ways, leaving Sora to do nothing at home while he waited for Riku to come around. It was only midday and he had to fill the time with something.

So he resorted to reading a book outside under the shade of an umbrella. The book he was reading was really good, but he couldn't seem to focus as much as he tried. In the end, he had read the page he was on about 4 times before he eventually gave up. Lying on a lounger with his hands behind his head, he really could not figure out what had changed. Why was he so nervous? He and Riku used to hang out all the time and he would never get like this. He was both extremely happy and extremely nervous. Maybe what Kairi had thought was true.

_That_ was why she didn't want to come tonight. Sora smacked himself in the face comically and groaned. But he'd never found guys attractive, so if he didn't like girls, what did he like?

Why was he only figuring this out at this time of his life? He was 18, so it should have been fairly obvious by now if he was gay or not.

He felt guilty about it, but he decided to test himself. He imagined kissing a girl other than Kairi and being intimate with her. He checked himself for a response…nothing. He had been attracted to girls before, and all of his sexual experiences, albeit involving himself only, had been focussed on girls. Then again, he had never felt the desire to take things further than kissing with Kairi. What the hell had changed?

Damn it all to hell.

The next step was going to be the decider. He was either asexual or gay. He thought of a man, all muscled and handsome. This man was walking over to him, his smile enticing and his leg muscles rippling with every step he took. He was naked, but Sora found that it wasn't off-putting at all. The man approached him and took Sora's hand. Slowly he guided Sora's hand to his chest, across it and downward, Sora feeling each mound of muscle as it went down. He could feel the heat of the man and his smell was driving him wild. Lower his hand went until…

Holy crap!

Sora leapt up out of the lounger, feeling the tightness in his jeans immediately. He had been so focussed on the reverie that he hadn't noticed that he had quickly become extremely aroused and his mouth was very dry. Sora quickly checked around to see whether anyone in the house could see him and he then began the covert mission of trying to reach his bedroom without anyone seeing him and the very obvious tent he had in his tight jeans.

After successfully manoeuvring around the house, avoiding his mother and sisters as they went about their business, he finally made it into his bedroom.

Luckily, by this time his problem had half gone away; the evidence of his daydream was diminishing.

No wonder he wasn't attracted to Kairi. Well, there was that little thing sorted out. Then there was that _other_ thing.

Riku.

As soon as he had imagined Riku, looking like he was in the airport terminal, the evidence came back in full force. He had _never_ had this response when he had thought about a girl and tried to get his rocks off. It was instantaneous. Riku, in his well-tailored shirt and trousers had ultimately put the final nail in the coffin.

Kairi was totally right, but what the hell was he going to do? He was seeing Riku tonight, and there was no way he could lead on to Riku that he felt that way about him. His and Riku's relationship would never be the same again. Their friendly banter, sword fighting… Oh god. Another image of sword fighting played in his mind and he realised that he was now extremely raring to go.

_I'm sorry, Riku._ He thought to himself as he proceeded to relieve himself of the agony that he was now feeling, whilst he was thinking of Riku in all sorts of nasty ways.

If only he had realised sooner, then Riku getting away to college could have been a great way of distancing himself from Riku and all the feelings he had. Now he was destined to spend an uncomfortable summer with him.


	4. Chapter Three

**A/N:** Thank you for reading and for your support! This is going to be a bit longer than short story, not that I know how long they should be exactly... But anywho, enjoy! The next chapter will probably be the last one.

**Chapter 3**

After Sora had dealt with his problem, he had no other thought than to head over to Kairi's place and come clean. It was something he felt he had to do, at least to put Kairi's mind at ease and to confirm her suspicions. He felt horrible that he couldn't reciprocate her feelings, but at least it was because he preferred guys over girls. That was something he felt he couldn't change and hopefully Kairi would understand that.

Upon walking up to the house, Sora was quickly greeted by Selphie who must have seen him walking up the driveway. She was still lively and excitable but that was not always a bad thing. Seeing her grinning face always seemed to cheer him right up.

"Sora!" Selphie squealed and glomped him into a death-grip. "How's it goin'?"

Sora tentatively hugged Selphie back, not that there was much leeway to do so. "Alright. Is Kairi in?"

"Oh boo, I knew you were here to see her." Selphie scowled mockingly.

Sora knew that Selphie didn't have a thing for him; she was just a terrible flirt with everyone. Besides, Sora knew that she and Tidus had been secretly dating for a while.

Sora laughed, his despondent mood brightened. Maybe seeing Selphie was just what he needed.

"Well she does live here… Why else would I be here?" Sora followed Selphie who was bouncing up the driveway to the house.

Selphie led Sora into the living area of the house where Kairi was maniacally bashing the buttons on her video game controller.

"It's about time," Kairi started to mutter, "I can't fight this boss on my own!"

She swung her head around, frustrated that she had just died in the game, only to see a sheepish looking Sora standing in the living room. Initially she seemed to be shocked, then wary, then finally understanding. She had always been incredibly perceptive like that.

"So, come to terms with it then?" She asked, getting up to greet Sora.

Sora blushed, much to his regret. He didn't want to show her that obviously that he had a thing for Riku, especially since they had only broken up yesterday.

"Ah yeah." Sora coughed, feeling awkward, remembering what he had just done to himself a little while before.

Selphie just stood standing in the middle of room, her green eyes filled with confusion. "Wait… what's going on?"

Sora paused for a while, not knowing whether it was a good idea to tell Selphie or not. She was known for being a gossip, but he knew with things like these she would keep her mouth shut. She at least wouldn't tell Riku. Kairi certainly wasn't going to mention anything to anyone, especially not in this instance. He knew that it was Sora's secret to tell.

Running a shaky hand through his hair, Sora swallowed and took a deep breath. "Well, Kairi and I broke up."

"WHAT?!" Selphie shrieked, startling Kairi and Sora so much that they nearly fell over in fright. "Why? How come?"

Sora knew that this was his coming out moment and he had to make it count. Make it honest and clear. It wasn't ambiguous anymore since he had found his clarity just before.

"I'm gay."

Selphie was stunned, her mouth in a round shape, but no words were coming out.

"I knew it!" Kairi laughed, as if relieved. "Thank goodness. I don't think I could have dealt with that blow to my ego."

Sora laughed nervously. "You know it would have been nothing to do with you. It would have been something wrong with me if I was straight and wasn't attracted to you."

"Wow, I totally didn't expect that." Selphie said quietly and trailed off. "But that's okay! You're still the same ol' Sora that we know and love!"

"_And_ he likes Riku." Kairi interjected.

"Hey! Not your feelings to tell!" Sora blushed heavily, the burning on his cheeks almost unbearable. He just wanted to run and hide now.

Selphie hummed about it for a second. "Now _that_ makes sense now that I think about it." She hugged Sora firmly. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me."

All of a sudden reality hit him.

"What am I going to do about tonight?! He probably doesn't feel that way about me."

Kairi scoffed at Sora. "Just be yourself. If something happens, then it's all good. However, if you don't tell him how you feel you're going to regret it. If he doesn't feel the same way he's not going to stop being your friend; he cares about you too much. So don't worry about it. It will be fine."

"Yeah!" Selphie reassured Sora by rubbing his back. "He's not the type of person to just stop being your friend. Think about how much you two have gone through. You literally travelled worlds trying to find him and he acknowledges how much you care for him."

Sora was so touched by his friend's reassurance that he almost choked up. "Thanks guys. I knew talking to you was the right thing to do."

They remained silent for a little while until Selphie piped up. "So… I guess this is where I mention that Tidus and I are going out…"

"No kidding." Kairi spoke, nonplussed.

"It was pretty obvious." Sora agreed.

Selphie giggled. "Guess we really are that obvious! Ah well."

* * *

It was 7.05pm. Riku was late and Sora was wringing his hands, sitting on the couch in the living room. His parents and sisters were watching some stupid reality T.V. show that he really had no interest in. All that was running through his head were thoughts surrounding his night with Riku. What they would talk about, what they would do, how he would confess his feelings. His heart had been palpitating for an hour or so, as he watched the hands on the clock in the living room slowly move round. He was completely distracted, and his mum had noticed that something was up; she just assumed that he was excited to see Riku.

Sora felt pathetic, like a kid who was going through his first crush. Kairi aside, it really was though.

"Hey… How's it going?" Riku's voice resonated through the living room and Sora sat up with a jump.

Sora's family looked genuinely pleased to see him. "Heya Riku, how was university?" Sora's mother asked.

"Busy. Studying, partying, you know the story." Riku said offhandedly and shoved Sora in the shoulder.

"That I do," Sora's mum's eyes gleamed with nostalgia, "just tell me you didn't go too crazy."

Riku plonked himself into the tiny space that was beside Sora. Instead of blushing, Sora knew that he was white as a sheet. He was really, really scared.

"Well, I'm going to steal this guy away. You should invite me over for a barbecue or something." Riku said with his usual cocky voice, to which the family replied with laughed.

Sora's father piped up. "As per usual. We usually are prepared in case you ever want to impose on us."

"Sweet." Riku leapt up and pulled Sora up with him.

"Uhhh, don't wait up?" Sora mentioned, looking to Riku for confirmation, which he did with a nod.

"I apologise now; I'm going to get Sora drunk."

Sora's mother sighed. "It had to happen sometime. Just… don't get up to mischief and make me worry!"

"Don't worry; I'll make sure Sora doesn't hurt himself. See ya!" Riku quipped and dragged Sora out by his arm to his truck.

Inside, Sora's mother and father exchanged a knowing glance.

Outside, Sora hopped into the passenger side of Riku's truck and swallowed. He had _no idea_ what to say or even do. Hopefully if he didn't say anything he wouldn't act like a lovesick fool.

As if noticing the change in Sora's demeanour, once Riku was in the driver's seat he turned Sora's head to face his. "Are you okay, Sora? We don't have to drink if you want."

Sora could have kissed him right then. Riku was so close with his fingers cupping his chin, his pale skin glistening in the evening light, the light permeating into his aqua eyes and almost setting them on fire. A shock ran through Sora's body. _Not now!_

"Ah… No, I do want to drink." Sora stammered, hoping that his lust wasn't evident and would dissipate by the time they reached the boat.

Riku nodded and fired up the truck. It wasn't a long drive to the boat, but he said he had a few things in the back he wanted to bring and it would have been too heavy. Sora scoffed inwardly. Like anything was too heavy for Riku. He was a beast.

"Okay, just don't go crazy. You don't want to throw everything up." Riku grinned; perfectly content and unaffected, just like he should be.

In Riku's eyes nothing had changed. In Sora's everything had changed.

"I'll try my best not to." Sora smirked, trying desperately to play along.

Before Sora knew it they were at the beach they moored their rowboats at. The sun was steadily moving down the sky, creating a painting of pastel colours in the sky. _How romantic. _Sora thought slightly sardonically.

Riku pulled out the stuff from the back of the truck which consisted of a chill bag and a duffel bag?

"What's in there?" Sora asked, inquisitive.

"Oh, just some sleeping bags, warm clothing, etcetera. Plus alcohol. That's important!" Riku lugged the bags into the large rowboat they had invested in a few years before. The island was only a ten minute row out, but Sora knew it would be an awkward one.

Sora wondered if he should be more prepared, but Riku promised to take care of everything.

The row out there was indeed awkward. Only for Sora, though, as Riku was happy to row, chatting away about his experiences at university. Riku had managed to do rather well, regardless of how much he claimed he drank. He said that sleep wasn't much of a 'thing' there.

It was actually rather nice, when Sora took it all in. The sunset beside them, Riku and his wide cocky smile, his rippling muscles every time he moved his arms… Sora knew that he was pretty much in heaven.

"How was your year?" Riku asked as he tied the boat to the jetty.

Sora lugged the bags onto his back and waited for Riku to finish his job. "Uneventful."

"What, even with Kairi?" Riku smirked. "Now, I find that hard to believe."

Sora gulped, knowing he would have to tell him sometime. They dumped the bags on the beach and sat down in the sand, nostalgia hitting them straight away.

"I can't believe it's been a year. Time flies when you're having fun."

Sora smiled tentatively, not agreeing with Riku's sentiment. "I suppose."

Riku peered into Sora's eyes. "Hmmm, are you sure you're okay? You've been quiet since I got back? Did something happen?"

Sora didn't know what to say so he sat there silent for a little while. Riku seemed to understand and shoved a plastic drink bottle filled with unknown liquid into Sora's hands.

"Maybe this will help you open up. You know you can talk to me about anything right?" Riku took a swig of his drink and gazed into the distance.

Sora looked down at the drink and knew that in order to tell Riku what he wanted to he had to drink some liquid courage. So he drank a good portion of it down, feeling the liquor burn down his throat. He tried to deal with it, but the burning was so intense that he fell into a coughing fit, cuddled up into foetal position in the sand.

"Oh… god. What did you put into this?" Sora wheezed when he had regained his breathing.

Riku chuckled. "My own personal concoction. Cheap and nasty."

"Yeah, I can tell!" Sora coughed again, but didn't exactly hate what he had just drunk.

Riku got up and ruffled Sora's hair. "Hey, how a duel? It's been a long time. I want to see how you've progressed."

"Ugh…" Sora took another drink. "I haven't really been practicing. Tidus is too wrapped up in Selphie to fight with me anymore."

Riku walked up the beach to the place he normally kept his sword, hidden in a chest that, due to magic, no-one else could find. Sora thought he would really have preferred a wooden sword to using his keyblade again, but he summoned it anyway.

"Well, that makes us equal then. I haven't exactly been practicing either." Riku pulled out his weapon and grinned almost evilly.

Sora snorted, feeling his nervousness drift away very slowly. "Yeah, but something tells me that you haven't avoided physical activity full stop."

"Hmm, that is true." Riku moved into attack position. "But I still think you _may_ be a challenge. At least try to prove to me you are."

Sora pouted sternly, knowing full well that Riku was trying to fire him up for the battle. And it was working very well. "Well, you're an old man now. Try not to break a bone."

Riku sneered hotly. "Let's see who's an old man," he spat as he charged at Sora.

Sora, finally feeling the freedom of the battle, something he had missed intensely, obliged Riku's challenge by charging straight back at him.

* * *

After drinking a good proportion of their drinks, they both knew that their melee was getting very sloppy. Sora kept giggling at Riku's serious faces he made when attacking and could not help but throw the battle because of it. At this point they both knew that fighting was futile. Sora lay in the sand, looking at the worlds in the sky and feeling completely at peace. Alcohol was amazing, he decided. The fuzzy feeling in his head was very pleasant. Riku was lying next to him, presumably feeling the same way, at least he hoped he was.

"So… You gonna tell me what's going on?" Riku rolled onto his side to face the brunette and perched his head up with his arm.

Sora smiled, knowing this was it. This was either going to work in his favour or it wasn't. But he didn't want to think about the repercussions of that.

Sora sat up, brushing the sand out of his hair. "Kairi and I split up."

"No way!" Riku gasped and moved closer to Sora, wrapping an arm around him consolingly. "You guys were destined to be together!"

Sora laughed, because if he didn't he thought he might cry. Leaning into Riku's shoulder he felt an incredible surge of emotion. "It really wasn't meant to be. I didn't feel anything for her in the end. I'm… A failure."

"Hey, Sora, that's not true." Riku pulled him closer. "Sometimes that just happens. We work ourselves up so much to what we and others expect of us and sometimes it just doesn't work out. Don't be hard on yourself."

Sora didn't know if they were in the right position to say what he really wanted to say. What if Riku rejected him outright? He didn't know if he could deal with that.

"The… the truth is… that she cottoned on to the fact that I missed you much more than I loved her. That my mission was originally about her, but mostly to find you."

His mouth was dry, and he felt conflicted between the feelings of sadness, guilt and intense hunger that being so close to Riku was giving him. His face was right by the crook of his neck and he desperately wanted to taste that flesh.

"And she knew from then that she could either try to preoccupy me with her, but if that didn't work she ultimately knew what that meant."

Sora felt Riku swallow deeply and gripped Sora's shoulder tightly. "What are you saying? I'm not sure I understand completely."

Sora gazed out into the sea and sky; feeling himself become more confident as he said more.

"Riku… I've never loved Kairi." He couldn't bring himself to face Riku like this so he kept looking outwards. "I didn't know what that meant until I saw you today and it all made sense, how much I missed you and how I felt around you. The person I've always wanted is you."


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter 4**

Riku stiffened against Sora, swallowing deeply once more, but he did not move from his position. Regardless of Sora's inebriation, he had suddenly regained clarity on what had actually happened. Very slowly and surely the doubt crept into his mind. Riku's silence was not reassuring and Sora's anxiety grew until he was at the point where he was fairly certain that Riku did not reciprocate his feelings. However, he did not move from his position either; still neatly tessellated into the crook of Riku's neck. He could tell by the loud thudding in his ear that Riku's pulse had quickened.

They sat there listening to the waves crashing against the shore and the nocturnal birds calling in the distance until Riku finally broke the silence with a deep chuckle. Sora snapped out of his depressed reverie and into a feeling of slight shock. Riku continued to laugh more heartily, much to Sora's confusion. What the hell did _that _mean? It was starting to really get on his nerves, and continued to do so until Sora broke away from Riku in a huff and shoving him away, not really believing Riku's audacity.

"What's so funny?!" Sora cried out to Riku. "I just freaking told you how I felt about you and you _laugh_?"

Riku's laughter slowly faded and he sat in the sand to face Sora. "It's hilarious!" He spoke jovially.

"_What_ is hilarious? I've been agonising about this!" The brunette was now livid, tempted to kick sand into Riku's face. However, Riku looked so entrancing in the light of the moon that he thought otherwise.

Riku chuckled again. "Well, I think it's really funny how, since we entered puberty, the only person I've ever liked in my entire life has been _you_. And now you tell me, after all the shit we've been through, that you feel that way about me? Considering my running away into the darkness in the first place was because I didn't know how to deal with my feelings about you. I thought there was no other way." Riku was ranting now, his voice shaking slightly and his eyes clenched closed. "The reason why I didn't talk to you much when I was away this year was because I couldn't handle the depression of wanting you so badly when I _knew_ I couldn't have you. I didn't want it to become obvious, because in all honesty, I didn't know how much longer I could look and not touch. So, I guess that's why I just started laughing, because this whole mess could have been avoided if I had simply been brave enough to tell you how I felt. But, like usual, I was a coward." Riku exhaled strongly and opened his eyes, sitting rigidly in the sand across from Sora, probably feeling like he _couldn't _do anything until Sora had taken in what he had just said and accepted it.

Sora was gobsmacked, heart pounding away in his chest, not knowing what to say. He could barely believe this was real. Then his shock was overtaken by the same response Riku had just given; he started laughing.

"Oh man… We're such idiots," Sora said when his laughter died away, "and to think I put Kairi through all that just to find out what resided within me all along." Sora exhaled and lay back into the sand, his eyes not moving from Riku's. He didn't know if he could ever move them away from Riku's now.

Riku scoffed, not sure what to do with himself. "_You're_ an idiot. Why the hell did it take so long for you?"

Sora sighed deeply. "I guess I was so wrapped up in what I thought I wanted, and that I was too much of a coward to think I could want anything differently. It took a proverbial slap in the face and Kairi's intuition for me to face the facts."

"So she found out about it before you, huh?" Riku teased, finally relaxing from his stupor.

Sora giggled, a sense of euphoria permeating throughout him. "Pretty much-"

Sora's sentence was abruptly interrupted by Riku suddenly launching himself off the sand and straddling Sora, his head moving down so their foreheads touched.

"You have _no_ idea how much I've dreamed about doing this." Riku spoke softly, his breath warming Sora's lips in the most enticing way. "I guess dreams really do come true."

"Ugh," Sora screwed up his face, "that was really corny." However, he was met with that same fiery gaze that Riku normally had when they were fighting each other and he was suddenly silenced. He now realised that there had always been a fine line between their competitiveness and their desire for each other.

"Shut up." Riku muttered and claimed Sora's lips with his, moving against him urgently, like he was trying to fulfil all of his fantasies at once.

Sora moaned from the depths of himself as Riku continued his ministrations, fully losing himself in the sensation of Riku sliding his hands up his shirt and sucking a pathway down his throat. He was trying to feel as much of Riku as he could also, but Riku was so fervently trying to have all of Sora in that he was frequently blocked. He was fairly certain that his mind was now clouded by something other than the alcohol, and he was not shy about displaying his arousal for Riku, not like he had any choice.

Riku climbed off momentarily, only to move his body in between Sora's legs. "As much as I'd like to take you right here, I'd rather have you on solid ground."

Sora felt like a person possessed. He wasn't himself anymore; he had become a demon filled with desire and an intense need to be complete with Riku. All coherence left him when Riku ground into him, showing Sora that, he too, was not shy. Sora could barely feel Riku pulling him upwards so he could carry him, still straddled and attached where it mattered most. After pausing to grab the all-important duffle bag, Riku held them both with ease and carried them to the cave, the closest and most easily accessible shelter he could think of.

"We're both lucky I came prepared for this," Riku murmured into Sora's neck as he laid him down on top of a sleeping bag. "Are you sure you want to go through with it?"

Sora grinned and nodded in reply before Riku pulled the brunette's shirt off his body. Riku was stunning in the fluorescent light the portable lamp emitted, his silver hair almost glowing and his aqua eyes still as fiery as before. Sora had not lost any arousal via transit, and he only continued to lose himself to his senses as Riku hastily removed all of their clothing and continued on his wicked way to have his Sora completely.

* * *

"So… was that what your fantasies consisted of?" Sora smirked, feeling no shame that he was still naked in all his glory, entangled with Riku's body.

They were well and truly spent. Sora didn't know how long they had been at it, but he had felt release more than once. Their love making had truly felt like their battling, only much more pleasure was involved.

"What we did wasn't even half of what I fantasised about." Riku ran his fingernails down the length of Sora's back, Sora shivering with aftershock. "But it was so much more amazing."

Sora nuzzled into Riku's neck, heady with post-coital bliss. "I had my first fantasy of you today, so I don't have much to base it on, but I agree that it was much more amazing." He couldn't believe that everything was working out so swimmingly. "You know… I missed you a lot. Both times you were away. The first time was hell for me, knowing that you had disappeared by your own choice. I honestly thought you didn't want anything to do with me. When I found out that you had tried to save the day on your own I wasn't surprised, but I was also really, really happy that you still considered me your friend. And now I find out your ulterior motive, and it really makes me sad that we have only just come to our senses."

Riku chuckled and stroked Sora's hair. "I was stubborn, and I think when I descended into the darkness I really didn't realise that was part of the reason. But at least it happened. We could have spent our lives completely unhappy, me because I would never work up the courage to tell you, and you because you're an oblivious dolt."

"Hey!" Sora growled and straddled Riku. "I'm just slow to accept reality."

Riku laughed, pulling the smaller boy closer so he was lying on top. "I know, Sora. And what about the second time I went away? How did you feel about that?"

"It felt like a part of me was missing. I also think I was latently jealous because I didn't like the thought of you having a girlfriend, even though I had one. And I was always concerned that you and Kairi would hook up, not even realising who exactly I was jealous over."

Riku smiled widely, liking the thought of Sora being jealous. "Girls were a no-go at uni, regardless of how many threw themselves at me. I tried to get with other guys to distract me. I drank to try to be attracted to them, but it never worked. You were a part of me too, and that part didn't want me with anyone else. I was… in a dark place for a long time, but it was your light that really kept me going. It has always been what's kept me going."

Sora rested his head against Riku's firm chest and listened to his heart thumping away. "The same goes for me, I think."

"Does this mean you love me?" Riku kissed the top of Sora's head affectionately.

Sora grinned, feeling exhaustion overtake him, shivering slightly as the cool night air met his perspiration. "I've always loved you as a friend. Now I know it was more than that. So yeah, I'm fairly certain I love you completely." Sora looked up at his lover and kissed him tentatively; tempted to go further but not sure his body had the energy to comply.

"I love you too, Sora."

* * *

Early the next morning Sora awoke to the ceiling of the cave. Upon looking around he could see that Riku was not with him, but he winced as he noticed the drawing on the wall of the cave, the one of him giving the paopu to Kairi. However, on closer inspection he saw that the drawing of Kairi had been crossed out and replaced with a drawing of what was undoubtedly Riku. Sora laughed to himself, glad that Riku had seen that and had managed to rectify that mistake. He should have been annoyed that Riku had left the cave without him, but his adjustment to the art in this place had made up for it.

Sora quickly dressed and ran out to beach, combing it with his slowly adjusting eyes to find his lover, but could see no trace of him. He didn't need to think for very long to know where exactly Riku was however, so he ran out with gusto to the bridge leading to Riku's usual spot. And there Riku was, sitting on the branch just like he used to years ago, before the chaos began. In his hand was a paopu fruit, something he seemed to be inspecting in great detail.

"Riku!" Sora called out to him and ran up, hoping the paopu fruit meant what he thought it meant.

Riku jumped down from his perch grinning ear to ear. "So you finally decided to wake up, sleepy head!"

"What's with the paopu?" Sora ran up and bowled Riku over, much to his dislike. That was until Sora sat on him in what could never be an innocent way anymore.

Riku coughed awkwardly, suddenly nervous. "Well… I was thinking that we could finish what we started. Well, what I tried to start before my nerves got the better of me and before you threw the paopu fruit away."

Sora remembered that moment well. He always thought that Riku was teasing him about him and Kairi, but it never really dawned on him that Riku wanted to share it with him in all seriousness.

"Okay. Let's try it." Sora grabbed the fruit out of Riku's hand. "You know… we never needed this to stay in each other's lives, though."

Riku grabbed Sora's arm and moved it so that the fruit was between their mouths. "Consider it a promise."

They smiled in unison and bit into the fruit; tasting the tart yet sweet flesh in their mouths.

"Man, this is pretty good." Sora spoke with his mouth full. "I don't know why I waited to try it."

Riku wiped the juice from around his mouth. "I'm glad it happened eventually."

The two both finished the fruit quickly and after much fondling decided it was time to leave the island in case their families worried about them. But they knew they would be back soon. They didn't know anywhere else they could go for this kind of privacy.

"So…" Sora spoke as they loaded the boat with Riku's 'preparations'. "I guess Kairi's going to think differently about us going to the island from now on."

Riku was confused for a moment but then he figured out what Sora was implying. "Yeah, she probably knows we've done the dirty here, and will continue to do so." Riku readied himself with the oars as Sora hopped in the boat. "She'll just have to get used to it."

As Riku proceeded to row out into the ocean Sora laughed with the person who was going to be in his life no matter what and felt completely at peace for the first time in his life. He now felt complete, like they had shared what mattered most; their love, their light and a paopu.

The End

* * *

**A/N:** I had so much fun writing this! Sanctuary by Utada and Let's Get Lost by Beck and Bat for Lashes were the songs that influenced me the most whilst writing this. I felt they were applicable. I will go through the story again and fix all the mistakes I made. Thank you to all for your support; by reviewing or even just by reading :)


End file.
